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2009 July | The Sports Report Girl

The Good of the MANNY…

July 30, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

The good of the many... Dont you mean the good of the MANNY?

The good of the many... Don't you mean the good of the MANNY?


Okay, so I’m about to “out” myself as a Trekie, but considering today’s bombshell news, it seems appropriate. I’m sure most of you have seen Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan… It is easily the best of the many Star Trek movies, including the current reincarnation.

As you will recall, during the climactic moments of this film, Spock sacrifices himself so the Enterprise can can reach warp speed and thus escape the expanding Genesis effect initialed by Khan himself. Dying from radiation poisoning, Spock tells Kirk that he had to do what he did because “the good of the many must outweigh the good of the few.”

Such a statement seems logical, doesn’t it. Why should the many suffer for the good of the few? Clearly they should not. But in relation to Major League Baseball, that is exactly what’s happening. In 2003, 1,198 players were screened for the use of performance enhancing drugs. Of those, 104 tested positive.

The names were to remain sealed and anonymous, but thanks to the government investigation of BALCO, the list was seized and, subsequently, names have started slipping out. First A-Roid, then Slammin Sammy, now Manny and Ortiz? Clearly there will be others.

Which brings me to this idea that the good of the many must outweigh the good of the few. If the Players Union were smart (which they clearly are not) they would do everything they could to release the entire list. Sure, the other 100 players would probably be freaking out. But you know what, the other 1,094 players would breathe a sigh of relief knowing they would no longer have to live their lives under the cloud of suspicion.

Obviously the Players Union will never do this. Which is why those 100 players whose names are sealed should start coming out one by one. Each player should call a news conference and admit to being on the list. Control the message, take the PR hit, then move on. If several did it, others would follow, and soon, the steroid era would become a thing of the past.

Wouldn’t it be great to see something like that happen?

Yeah, I’m not holding my breath either.

A Wise Man Once Said…

July 24, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

“…when it’s the 9th inning and your pitcher is in the midst of throwing a perfect game with a 5 run lead, go ahead and make the defensive substitution in Center Field.”

Man that Wise kid sure has some hops!

Man that Wise kid sure has some hops!

Okay, maybe he wasn’t exactly a Wise man, but Dewayne Wise came close to making Ozzie Guillen look sage-like (not to mention one who could predict the future) when his leaping and juggling catch at the wall saved Mark Buehrle’s perfect game.

Guiellen, never one to pour on the praise, admitted that the catch (though not the best he’s ever seen) was easily the best situation for a catch he’s ever witnessed. Or at least that’s what I think he was trying to say. I can’t ever be too sure as I basically only understand every third word that comes out of his mouth.

Nothing says Prefect Game quite like a PBR shower

Nothing says Prefect Game quite like a PBR shower

One thing I understand perfectly, though, is Jonathan Sanchez is still cursing Juan Uribe in San Francisco. “Number 18 was supposed to be my prefect game, asshole! Mine!!”

Or something along those lines…

And with that, I’m off to enjoy another beautiful day on vacation!

Rain, Rain, Go Away…

July 17, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Football, NFL Football, SRG's Blog

DoucheBag Jones

DoucheBag Jones

Okay, so for some reason there are a number of people out there who haven’t come to terms with the fact that Adam Jones is a real piece of shit work. But after watching the Outside the Lines report on his involvement in the 2007 Vegas Strip Club incident (in which three people were shot), there is no longer any room for discussion.

PacMan Jones is a monster, plain and simple! I mean who goes to a strip club with 100K (alegedly), exchanges 40K for ones, “makes it rain,” then gets so bent when the girls start picking up their money that he actually cracks one of them in the jaw two or three times. News flash, Adam… if you want the girls to dance and not stop to pick up their money, then stop making it rain!

Bottom line, anybody who is that abusive to women (even if they are strippers) is nothing more then an animal. And as much as I love Deion Sanders, I’m sooooo tired of him defending the guy! So what if Jones is trying to get his life in order… that’s what he should be doing. Here’s another news flash, Adam… focus on yourself and your family and forget about football. Besides the fact that you really aren’t good enough anymore to justify the trouble of having you on a team, the league as a whole doesn’t need the headache of having you around.

So goodbye, good luck and I hope I never have to hear about you again.

The Bird is the Word for Pacman

The Bird is the Word for Pacman

Jiminy Cricket!

July 16, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Other Sports, SRG's Blog

Swing batter batter batter batter batter, swing!

Swing batter batter batter batter batter, swing!

Professional Cricket is coming to the US, and I for one couldn’t be happier.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a cricket fan. Not by a long shot. It’s not that I hate it. Heck, how can I hate something I don’t even understand. But here’s the thing… if I don’t understand it, I gaurantee the vast majority of sports fans in this country don’t understand it either. No, I’m happy we’ll be getting Pro Cricket in this country because Lord knows Professional Jai Alai needs to be taken down a peg or two.

In all seriousness, though, why would anyone think cricket could be successful in the US when a truly global sport like soccer is still struggling? Who knows, maybe the powers that be will actually lure the best of the best from around the world to play in the US… but I doubt it. And if it’s one thing Americans can appreciate, it’s excellence. Which is a big reason why professioanl soccer in this country hasn’t taken off. Because the best of the best are playing in the European Leagues, and we kinow it. That’s why international soccer gets good ratings, but the MLS does not.

Yeah, Cricket is coming!

Yeah, Cricket is coming!

But hey, if the US Cricket Association thinks a Premiere League will be a winner in this country, then what the hell, bring it on. After all, the other thing we Americans love is an underdog, right? Just ask Women’s Soccer, the USFL and the LPGA.

One Hell Of A French Kiss!

July 15, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Other Sports, SRG's Blog

Whats up with this guys hand?

What's up with this guy's hand?

French tennis pro Richard Gasquet has been cleared to resume his career by the International Tennis Federation’s tribunal after they ruled he inadvertantly injested cocaine by… wait for it… kissing a woman in a Miami nightclub.

The 32nd ranked Gasquet tested positive for the drug in March when he pulled out of the Sony Ericsson Open in Key Biscayne, FL from a shoulder injury. The ITF was seeking a two year ban, but were convinced of Gasquet’s ignorance innocence and opted instead for a retroactive two and half month ban.

The panel found the player to be “…a person who is shy and reserved, honest and truthful and a man of integrity and good character. He is neither a cheat nor a user of drugs for recreational purposes.” But apparently his shyness wasn’t enough to keep him from kissing a perfect stranger in a nightclub… a persson who was identified simply as “Pamela.”

Hmmmm. I wonder who that could be?

Known to have a 2 litre a day Coca-Cola habit

Check out these 2 litres of coke...

On Deck: ep. 9

July 15, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

The Sports Report Girl is going to EUROPE on vacation! But don’t worry, she’s bringing her computer, which means uninterupted updates to the website with pictures and stories, both from her trip and what’s going on back home in the world of sports.

As for episode 8, the SRG recaps her top moments from the first half of the season, and reports on the inevitable firing in Washington as wel as Jonathan Sanchez’s incredible story in San Francisco.

Hey brother, can you spare an organ?

July 10, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Football, NFL Football, SRG's Blog

Wait... I think I only have one good kidney left!

Wait... I think I only have one good kidney left!

So let me get this straight…
Denis Paiva, a poor guy living on the street, has been reduced to panhandling in order to repay Tom Brady for a couple of Belgian flower boxes he took form behind his home. According to Paiva, the metal containers were sitting next to the trash and looked like they had been discarded. So the 61 year old ex-con… oh, did I forget to mention that fact?

Well, yes… Paive served a 10 year prison term for Bank Robbery. Released from the pen five years ago, Paiva has been making his living by taking odd jobs and going through other people’s refuse in the hopes of finding things he could sell. Obviously, when the well to do throw things away, they tend to be on the nicer side.

Which brings us to Tom Brady and his Belgian Flower boxes… which cost $8,000 dollars. Paiva was caught on surveillance tape taking the containers, which he sold as scrap metal for $450. The courts ordered him to repay $4,000 to Brady’s real estate trust (whatever that is???), but since he doesn’t have the dough, he’s been forced to beg in order to repay the multi million dollar earning QB.

Brady, who couldn’t be reached for comment because he was air born somewhere between Sao Paolo and Santa Monica, shouldn’t be made to look like a Scrooge, though. After all, he’s losing $4,000 dollars on the settlement. But what should be brought into question is this… what kind of man pays eight grand for flower pots?

Random Thoughts: 7-9-09

July 9, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Moohead Radio, Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts: 7-2-09

July 9, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Moohead Radio, Random Thoughts

NIKE should release the tape… JUST DO IT!!!

July 9, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Basketball, NBA Basketball, SRG's Blog

Dont you go showin me gettin dunked on!

Don't you go showin' me gettin' dunked on!

With a clap of his hands and a cloud of chalk exploding over his head, the King decreed “Thou shalt no dunk on me and have it viewed by millions on YouTube!”

By now we’ve all heard the story… Nike showcases one of their top pitchmen by putting on the Lebron James Skills Camp in his hometown of Akron, OH. It’s a camp that features some of the top basketball prospects from around the country… prospects that are supposed to learn from the great King James… not upstage him. But that’s exactly what happened in a pick up game when Xavier’s Jordan Crawford drove from the right wing and dunked over Lebron’s head. And, as you also know, the footage of that event will never see the light of day because Nike confiscated the only two tapes in existance… after conferring with Lebron, of course!

A spokesperson for the shoe company claims they have a long standing policy to never allow the pick up games from such camps to be taped. Why that’s the case, no one has made clear. But to anyone with a brain, the answer is simple… they’re protecting their investment. Nike doesn’t want their customers to see their hero made to look like a punk… especially when the one doing the punking is wearing (Gasp) Adidas!

Whether that part is true or not, we’ll never know. But Lebron would be well served to come out and meet this growing controversy head on. Because as it stands now, he looks like a petulant (sorry for the big word) child on the verge of throwing a tantrum… you know, like he did after losing the Eastern Conference Finals when he refused to address the media and left his teammates to handle all the dirty work.

Then again, maybe Nike is playing it smart. Maybe we’ll finally see the footage in one of those Lebron and Kobe Muppet commercials. I can see it now… muppet Kobe and the muppet kid from down the hall are laughing at the video of Lebron getting dunked on by Crawford. And then a muppet Shaq comes out to protect his new teammate from the mean bullies.

Oh Nike… if ever you would head your own advice, now is the time… Show the tape in a new muppet commercial!

JUST DO IT!

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