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2009 November | The Sports Report Girl

The NBA’s Haves and Have Nots

November 25, 2009 by Gabe Zaldivar  
Filed under Basketball, NBA Basketball, SRG's Blog

We are enough games into the 2009-2010 season to have some semblance of the pedigree of each team. While many in the middle will fight and claw for the last remaining playoff spots, these few teams will not have to worry. They will either be locked in as one or two seeds or so far out of the picture they are talking lottery.

The Haves

Lakers – Kobe is playing horse during games and Adam Morrison is getting playing time. That latter happens when Phil Jackson is goofing around.

Nuggets – The old adage was that you needed two or more superstars to contend for an NBA title. Denver is doing it with only one legitimate All-Star. The Nuggets will make the Lakers earn another bid to the Finals. Chris Anderson may be the best big man defender in the league and his hair is not the least bit annoying.

Suns – By now you probably heard that the Suns are good again. Some may not buy the longevity of their success but no one can deny that this team can score at an unbelievable clip. Channing Frye has been a nice surprise. He may not be what they need as a rebounder but he can run, shoot, and pass. That’s about all Phoenix ever does anyway.

Hawks – I had almost forgotten that Atlanta had an NBA team. Last year the Hawks demanded people take notice when they bounced Miami in the first round. They seem to be building on that momentum this season. It will take some doing but I will try to get used to the hawks being near the top of their conference.

Magic – Superman isn’t exactly playing up to his potential to start the season. I’m confident he will be closer to the 20 and 14 he was producing last year in the next few weeks. In the meantime Vince Carter seems competent enough to do a little more scoring.

The Have-Nots

Timberwolves – We knew they were going to suck. Rambis knew they were going to suck. It can be safe to assume now that Ricky Rubio had an inkling that they would suck. Good thing they drafted 18 point guards.

Nets- The only good news is that they were once rumored to be in the running to net LeBron next year. I guess that’s something.

Knicks – It’s teams like New York that make me thank god the NBA does not mandate every teams have an All-Star as is done in MLB. It’s a scary thought but I believe the Knicks want to be the worst team in NBA history. What other explanation could there be for Nate Robinson scoring on his own basket. Really I think they will revisit the whole Iverson thing in about 10-12 losses.

Clippers – On Paper they look great. When healthy this team could play with anyone. I included the Clippers here because I firmly believe that god has it in for sinners, dinosaurs, and the Clippers.

Down But Bot Out

Spurs and Celtics– Here is a drinking game. Take a shot every time the word healthy is used alongside these teams. Your liver will can vacation after the season.

The NFL… More Shocking Than Adam Lambert!

November 25, 2009 by Jenna Q.  
Filed under Football, NFL Football, SRG's Blog


Granted, there’s no simulated oral sex or guy-on-guy kissing (not to my knowledge, at least), but ahhhh… this was the week I was waiting for – a week full of “how the hells” and WTFs. While the Saints and Colts are continuing their epic domination in their respective conferences, other teams this weekend decided to surprise the hell out of us… err, I mean, me. Because, you know, I’m hardly ever surprised anymore considering I expect the Raiders to lose, which they do.

But wait – this weekend, they didn’t lose. Not only did they not lose, but they didn’t lose to a pretty decent team in the Bengals. And whoa! Still not used to saying “decent” and “Bengals” in the same sentence (notice how I refrain from saying the Raiders “won” because they didn’t really “win.” The Bengals basically handed the game to them with that fumble). Another statement I never thought I’d utter is “Cleveland and Detroit” in a 38-37 “shootout.” Yeah, what universe are we in again?

Join me as I recount this crazy NFL weekend. I will try to avoid using any more “air quotes” as they annoy myself as much as they do you.

Kansas City upset Pittsburgh. What’s the common thread here? KC loses big mouth Larry Johnson and wins. Cincy gains Larry Johnson and loses. Dumping LJ was the smartest thing KC’s done all year. KC and “smart?” Yeah, there’s another completely foreign statement to me (Ok, no more air quotes… I promise).

Denver loses… again. Eons ago, after Josh McDaniels and co. rattled off their 6th straight win over San Diego, I was ready to proclaim the young prodigy Coach of the Year… less than halfway through the season, no less. But I quickly deleted that article, because… well, I totally knew they’d drop 4 straight. I mean, any idiot could have seen that coming. SO OBVIOUS!

On the flip side of the Broncos’ monster collapse are the Tennessee Titans, who have registered a mind-blowing 4 straight wins after losing their first 6. I mentioned a couple of weeks back that having Kerry Collins as your quarterback means you’re doomed to fail. I guess Jeff Fisher reads my posts here at TheSportsReportGirl.com. Vince Young is looking pretty good – and stable.

Devin Hester moons us. So, you tell me, what was more hilarious – Hester’s inadvertent butt shot, or J-Lo’s accidental butt fall?

Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the NFL this week, and for once, didn’t need to take any antidepressants. As far as I’m concerned, Thanksgiving fell on Sunday this year.

For that, I’m very thankful.

Jimmy Clausen, Beaten Twice In One Day

November 24, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under College Football, Football, SRG's Blog

Saturday afternoon, Jimmy Clausen led Notre Dame to another close loss against another inferior opponent.

Saturday night, the Irish quarterback paid the price… with his face.

ESPN’s Joe Schad reported that Jimmy Clausen was sucker punched by an irate fan outside a South Bend restaurant after having dinner with his parents.

Okay, I get it… I know how it is to be a fan of a college program that’s perpetually underachieving (said alma mater will remain nameless to prevent any heckling). And even though Clausen is almost certainly on his way to the NFL this April, there’s no excuse for such a thing to happen.

He’s still a kid, playing a game he loves for a school and a coach (I presume) that he loves. There’s just no room for this in college football.

European football, on the other hand, with all their soccer hooligans… absolutely! But not here! And especially not in front of the kid’s parents. I mean come on! Have some class, Domers!

Kobe Bryant… Jedi Baller!

November 24, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Basketball, NBA Basketball, SRG's Blog

The Sports Report Girl, marveling at the shot Kobe Bryant made against James Hardin of the Thunder, wonders if Kobe is studying The Force! But is he a Jedi or a Sith?

Feel the power of the Dark Side, Kobe!

Les Miles Is A Terrible Human Being…

November 24, 2009 by Dion Rabouin  
Filed under College Football, Football, SRG's Blog


…and he ruined my weekend!

At 5 am Pacific Standard time Sunday morning, I was running across Harmon Blvd in Las Vegas. This wasn’t a heavy jog, like most grown people do when they’re “running,” I was in a full-on sprint. I was running like a crazy person across an empty street because I had just left a cab at a different hotel without paying and I needed to get to my room before he saw me and called the cops. I’ve never run out on a cab fare on my life, but I had to because I was stranded in the middle of Las Vegas with no money at five in the morning. This was all Les Miles’s fault.

Everything started on Thursday, when I noticed that LSU was somehow a four-and-a-half point underdog to Ole Miss. Mississippi was at home, and in Vegas line world that somehow seems to justify a team getting an extra 10 points on any line. As I was planning a trip to Las Vegas for the upcoming weekend, I decided to place a little wager on the game.

Realizing that there was no way LSU could possibly lose by four-and-a-half points to Ole Miss and believing that my college football acumen was much greater than it actually was or is, I put an unjustifiable amount of money on the Tigers winning straight up.

Four hours later I was crying – literally crying – into the most expensive drink I’ve ever purchased. Prior to that, all I remember is screaming. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the idiotic coaching performance I witnessed, maybe it was the fact that I felt like I was watching my money being set ablaze, but I have never yelled as much or as hard at an inanimate object as I did at the television that day.

As Les Miles sat there on the sideline like a buffoon for those 17 seconds, while precious time ticked off the clock at the end of the game, I felt like I was watching George W. Bush in that classroom on 9/11.

“The country is under attack, Les! The country is under attack! Do something!”

I may or may not have actually yelled this out loud at the bar I was in – everything between LSU recovering an onside kick and the final scoreboard reading LSU – 23 Mississippi – 25 is one big whirlwind blur of anger, sadness, joy and disbelief.

I died a little that day.

For Philly Fans, It’s That Time Of Year Again!

November 21, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Football, NFL Football, SRG's Blog

It’s that time of year, the midle of the NFL season, when Philadelphia Eagles fans turn their “brotherly love” on Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb.

It happens every year… but no one is talking about it yet becaue of Belichick’s Blunder on 4th and 2.

All that should change, though, if the Eagles lose to the Bears this weekend.

Mayweather, The “Fair Weather” Fighter

November 19, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Boxing/MMA, SRG's Blog

Now that Pacman has beaten Cotto, everyone is awaiting the next “Fight of the Century.”

But sadly there’s no telling if Floyd Mayweather is man enough to take the fight. Asking for over two thirds of the gate isn’t a very good indication that he’s serious about the fight.

Pacquiao vs Mayweather… Don’t Hold Your Breath For It!

November 19, 2009 by AC  
Filed under Boxing/MMA, SRG's Blog

Time Magazine didn’t have Cotto’s face (nor Mayweather’s for that matter) on the cover of its 2009 edition of the World’s 100 Most Influential People.

To make the international edition of the magazine takes a little bit more than killer fists.

Because of his strength and endurance, Pacquiao has mesmerized his home country of the Philippines, and with the title stealing win over Cotto, the multi-tasking tsunami has mesmerized the world.

He put the doubters to rest last weekend in Vegas by breaking the will of Miguel Cotto in a battle of pride and country. There were boxing people who gave Cotto a good shot to win, or make it a close fight by decision. But fans in Vegas edged the odds to 3-1 in favor of Pacquiao last Saturday at a sold out MGM Grand. I believed Cotto’s body punches and power would be something Pacquiao would have to adjust too.

Didn’t happen.

Cotto could do nothing. His power was wasted on the little guy who, grinning and nodding to his fans on his way to ring, made it look easy to get his seventh title in seven weight divisions.

It’s as if Pacquiao were the reincarnation of Bruce Lee. It wasn’t too long ago Pac-Man was just an amateur that only hardcore fans knew about. Now, he’s hailed as one of the best boxers ever. And the next chapter in his career could provide one of the greatest Super Fights in history, one that everyone is anxiously waiting to see…

Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

But first, there is a deal that needs to get done. Negotiations and money are holding back the best thing boxing has seen in years. Ross Greenburg, HBO Sports president said, “There’s so much money to be made. If it doesn’t happen, there’ll be a revolt. Nothing else is acceptable, and I’m speaking on behalf of the American public and the sport itself.”

The deal basically hinges on which fighter gets more than a 50% cut of the purse. Seasoned on the art of the mega fight deal is Bob Arum, Pacquiao’s promoter. He will no doubt find a way to set aside personal issues to make nice with head of Golden Boy Promotion’s Richard Schaefer, Mayweather’s current promoter.

The work is cut out for this diplomatic endeavor. Arum has to set aside personal dislike for Mayweather, and the usually polite and humble Pacquiao said the fight may not happen due to Pretty Boy Floyd’s attitude.

Aside from some outlandish smack-talk, Mayweather hasn’t truly responded. He feels he is the world’s best fighter, and even though Pacquiao has continued an astounding reign as a force of nature, Mayweather will remain absolute to the art of the deal. Thus, I give it a 50/50 chance of even taking place.

On Campus: week 11 & 12

November 18, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Football, NFL Football, SRG's Blog

This week the Sports Report Girl examines Lane Kiffin’s decision to kick Nu’keese Richardson and Mike Edwards off the Tennessee football team.

Also, the pressure on Rich Rodriquez and Charlie Weis intensifies, plus a look at the upcoming big games… like Michigan and Ohio State!

Around the Association 11/18/09

November 18, 2009 by Gabe Zaldivar  
Filed under Basketball, NBA Basketball, SRG's Blog

This is officially the week for whiners. Both Stephen Jackson and Allen Iverson got what they wanted. Is this working for any of you out there? Are you getting promoted or moved to better quarters by pissing your boss off? In this economy I’m scared to take a bathroom break. But it works in the NBA… after all, it is the league of Divas.

Stephen Jackson
He hates the Warriors, the team that treated him so bad they made him a millionaire many times over. I guess it was the fact that he wanted to win so badly. It could also be that coach Don Nelson is renowned to do things his own way and demand his players to do so as well. He is the coach, so I guess that makes a little sense. Some players just don’t like accountability. I hope Mr. Jackson enjoys the friendly confines of Charlotte. Going from a 3-6 team to a 3-7 team should do wonders for his morale.

Allen Iverson
Iverson used to be one of the most prolific scorers in the NBA. This was enough to make him an annual All-Star. Sadly his best days are well past him. You need only look to the Denver Nuggets for proof. They went from a very good team to a genuine contender with the simple swap of an aging Iverson for an aging Chauncey Billups. Unhappy with his role as backup, Iverson used the only bargaining chip he had. He made times rough in Memphis. Losing the only value the Grizzlies desired from Iverson, a wise guard that could mold the young Grizzlies backcourt, they decided to let him go. Iverson has to hope he can find his way onto a team that is only interested in selling tickets, not in winning. New York Knicks, please pick up the white courtesy telephone…

Lakers
The Lakers are done. They have no depth. Kobe is hurt and so is Pau Gasol. The sky is falling. Ah, the NBA pundits are in panic mode. The Lakers do rather stink right now but we are ten games into the 2009-2010 season. Many are forgetting that the Los Angeles Lakers are the same exact team as last year with the addition of defensive stopper Ron Artest. They are about to get back Gasol and move potential All-Star Lamar Odom to the bench. A team with three to four All-Stars is deep enough. I have a feeling Phil Jackson will right this ship shortly.

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