Granted, there’s no simulated oral sex or guy-on-guy kissing (not to my knowledge, at least), but ahhhh… this was the week I was waiting for – a week full of “how the hells” and WTFs. While the Saints and Colts are continuing their epic domination in their respective conferences, other teams this weekend decided to surprise the hell out of us… err, I mean, me. Because, you know, I’m hardly ever surprised anymore considering I expect the Raiders to lose, which they do.
But wait – this weekend, they didn’t lose. Not only did they not lose, but they didn’t lose to a pretty decent team in the Bengals. And whoa! Still not used to saying “decent” and “Bengals” in the same sentence (notice how I refrain from saying the Raiders “won” because they didn’t really “win.” The Bengals basically handed the game to them with that fumble). Another statement I never thought I’d utter is “Cleveland and Detroit” in a 38-37 “shootout.” Yeah, what universe are we in again?
Join me as I recount this crazy NFL weekend. I will try to avoid using any more “air quotes” as they annoy myself as much as they do you.
Kansas City upset Pittsburgh. What’s the common thread here? KC loses big mouth Larry Johnson and wins. Cincy gains Larry Johnson and loses. Dumping LJ was the smartest thing KC’s done all year. KC and “smart?” Yeah, there’s another completely foreign statement to me (Ok, no more air quotes… I promise).
Denver loses… again. Eons ago, after Josh McDaniels and co. rattled off their 6th straight win over San Diego, I was ready to proclaim the young prodigy Coach of the Year… less than halfway through the season, no less. But I quickly deleted that article, because… well, I totally knew they’d drop 4 straight. I mean, any idiot could have seen that coming. SO OBVIOUS!
On the flip side of the Broncos’ monster collapse are the Tennessee Titans, who have registered a mind-blowing 4 straight wins after losing their first 6. I mentioned a couple of weeks back that having Kerry Collins as your quarterback means you’re doomed to fail. I guess Jeff Fisher reads my posts here at TheSportsReportGirl.com. Vince Young is looking pretty good – and stable.
Devin Hester moons us. So, you tell me, what was more hilarious – Hester’s inadvertent butt shot, or J-Lo’s accidental butt fall?
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the NFL this week, and for once, didn’t need to take any antidepressants. As far as I’m concerned, Thanksgiving fell on Sunday this year.
For that, I’m very thankful.