Granted, there’s no simulated oral sex or guy-on-guy kissing (not to my knowledge, at least), but ahhhh… this was the week I was waiting for – a week full of “how the hells” and WTFs. While the Saints and Colts are continuing their epic domination in their respective conferences, other teams this weekend decided to surprise the hell out of us… err, I mean, me. Because, you know, I’m hardly ever surprised anymore considering I expect the Raiders to lose, which they do.
But wait – this weekend, they didn’t lose. Not only did they not lose, but they didn’t lose to a pretty decent team in the Bengals. And whoa! Still not used to saying “decent” and “Bengals” in the same sentence (notice how I refrain from saying the Raiders “won” because they didn’t really “win.” The Bengals basically handed the game to them with that fumble). Another statement I never thought I’d utter is “Cleveland and Detroit” in a 38-37 “shootout.” Yeah, what universe are we in again?
Join me as I recount this crazy NFL weekend. I will try to avoid using any more “air quotes” as they annoy myself as much as they do you.
Kansas City upset Pittsburgh. What’s the common thread here? KC loses big mouth Larry Johnson and wins. Cincy gains Larry Johnson and loses. Dumping LJ was the smartest thing KC’s done all year. KC and “smart?” Yeah, there’s another completely foreign statement to me (Ok, no more air quotes… I promise).
Denver loses… again. Eons ago, after Josh McDaniels and co. rattled off their 6th straight win over San Diego, I was ready to proclaim the young prodigy Coach of the Year… less than halfway through the season, no less. But I quickly deleted that article, because… well, I totally knew they’d drop 4 straight. I mean, any idiot could have seen that coming. SO OBVIOUS!
On the flip side of the Broncos’ monster collapse are the Tennessee Titans, who have registered a mind-blowing 4 straight wins after losing their first 6. I mentioned a couple of weeks back that having Kerry Collins as your quarterback means you’re doomed to fail. I guess Jeff Fisher reads my posts here at TheSportsReportGirl.com. Vince Young is looking pretty good – and stable.
Devin Hester moons us. So, you tell me, what was more hilarious – Hester’s inadvertent butt shot, or J-Lo’s accidental butt fall?
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the NFL this week, and for once, didn’t need to take any antidepressants. As far as I’m concerned, Thanksgiving fell on Sunday this year.
For that, I’m very thankful.
Somehow I find it ironic that Larry Johnson would get released the same day LeGarrette Blount was reinstated by the University of Oregon. I also find it ironic that he would have the nerve to call others the three letter “F” word while posing in such a gay fashion with a teammate. But hey, that’s Larry for you!
As for those Kansas City fans that never warmed up to Larry, and there were plenty of them, this particular nightmare is finally over. After several years of embarrassing himself, the team and most of the city, the Larry Johnson era is officially over.
“Thanks, Larry! And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way to irrelevancy!”
We could all see this one coming, couldn’t we? I mean you just don’t insult your boss the way he did and expect to keep your job. And believe me, that’s exactly what this is about. The Political Correctness of punishing him for using a gay slur was simply window dressing. It gave the team an easy out… a socially responsible excuse for getting rid of a troubled has-been that wasn’t producing on the field and who was a distraction off the field.
Let’s face it… if Larry were putting up Chris Johnson or Cedric Benson numbers, he would still be with the Chiefs. But Todd Haley knows his team is going nowhere this year, and Johnson isn’t in his plans for next year. So why not cut bait? It’s smart to move on and give someone else a chance to distinguish themselves.
If Larry hopes to ever make something of himself again, he should take a page out of LeGarrette Blount’s hand book for rehabilitating one’s image. If you get another shot, then keep your mouth shut. And if you do open your mouth, deliver on what you promise.