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Los Angeles Dodgers | The Sports Report Girl

Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be George Sherrill

July 22, 2010 by Gabe Zaldivar  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

Things are pretty bad in Dodger land. The owners are in the middle of a heated divorce. Manny Ramirez is hurt, again. They lost their first six games after the All Star break. Now they are looking up at the top of the NL West from fourth place. If all that weren’t enough, they still pay George Sherrill to come in a pitch for them. What was lost in the debacle the other night is that Sherrill was the one that gave up a two run double in the ninth. He always gives up runs. That is just what he does. They could have done a lot better signing a leper to a $10 contract. Their ERA would be similar and you wouldn’t have to look at a silly goatee.

In this recession how can anyone pick up a paycheck for such ineptitude. You don’t see me going into my coworkers offices and just taking dumps. That’s what Sherrill does. He goes out there and just poops. Then Torre has to go out and clean up after him. Its just nauseating. Well I don’t blame Torre, the front office, or the like. I blame the parents. How people could raise such a lack of production is just beyond me. So please, parents, read to your children. If you don’t they will grow up to pitch like George Sherrill.

Ned Colletti & His Big Balls

April 29, 2010 by Gabe Zaldivar  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

Today Ned Colletti, GM of the Los Angeles Dodgers, announced that he has the biggest set of balls in the world. He did this by having the gall to criticize the team and Matt Kemp for a lack of effort. He is either very stupid or is very much separated from reality because the troubles of the Dodgers rest squarely on his shoulders.

He was quoted on a Los Angeles radio show as saying “I’m not satisfied with the presentation. I’m not satisfied with execution. I’m not satisfied with the thought process of it.” How about not being satisfied with the personnel. Which is your side of the ball. The Dodgers woes are largely pitching related. The fact that Los Angeles started the season with two young as yet unproven pitchers, one malcontent, a knuckle-ball pitcher, and Hiroki Kuroda is Colletti’s fault, not the players.

This is a rare time in Dodger history where a team can throw up nine runs in consecutive games and lose both those games. The Dodgers rank in the top five in the National League in major offensive categories. Yet they are in last place in the West. Perhaps it is because the Dodgers rank near the bottom in every pitching category.

Back in December, Colletti insinuated he had no monetary restrictions this off season. This leads one to believe one of two things. Either he is lying and divorce proceedings drastically cut into his staffing the rotation with arms or he is a really bad General Manager with a tiny mustache.

What about Matt Kemp? Well he certainly has been mucking it up on defense and base-running. He must be cashing it in. It would very well be prudent to question his work ethic. Unless of course his manager vouches that he shows up early to get his work in and he is currently scoring most of the runs on the team.

Matt Kemp is tied for second in the majors in home runs, tied for third in RBI, and first in runs. Granted he has made some horrible gaffs. But it may be a mental aspect of the game that someone needs to talk to him or comment about. How about Joe Torre, the manager of the team.

If the next words out of your mouth aren’t “Damn I should have re-signed Randy Wolf, at the very least Jon Garland.” I don’t want to hear it.

Waking Up With: Frank & Jaime McCourt

October 27, 2009 by SRG  
Filed under Random Thoughts, SRG's Blog

This thing is going to get a lot uglier before it ever gets better! And though I’m sad to see them split, it certainly looks like it’s going to be a wonderful soap opera! Where’s TO? I need some popcorn!

Deep Thoughts

October 21, 2009 by Gabe Zaldivar  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

Well it seems like the Yankees and Phillies get to play at least one exhibition game each before heading to the World Series. Both Championship Series are all but wrapped up with cute little bows on them.

If the Dodgers do win tonight they have the great fortune of facing Cliff Lee again. If the Angels win tomorrow and in game six they have to face C.C. Sabathia. We all know how both teams fare against those respective aces. For a second let’s disregard the match-ups. Let’s get down to what really matters in baseball, the subtle nuances.

Some things I learned in the Championship Series round:

1. Ron Darling sounds remarkably like James Woods. I finally realized this because I chose to focus on the tenor and repetition of his syntax rather than listen to…

2. Buck Martinez is a nose breather. He breathes through his nose and while funny in the first inning became quiet annoying in the second. And that was game one. I had to sit through this man’s nose whistles all through the 27 outs of each game.

3. Matt Stairs may look like a Little League dad who goes out and drinks all week and plays softball with his buddies on Sundays, but to Jonathan Broxton, Matt Stairs looks like the monster you always believed was in your closet as a kid.

4. The American League series was a tight one if you take away all the home runs the Yankees hit. Also please imagine a world in which Alex Rodriguez dominates in the postseason, seems bleak right? Well that’s the world we live in now.

5. Tim McCarver is currently in a heated battle with the English language. Who will win I am unsure of but we are worse off for witnessing it.

6. I could have easily gone out and got five of my closest friends and umpired these games. We would have been just as effective and might not have blown so many calls.

7. ManRam takes a shower in the ninth of game four. A leader on the team, he is neither there to console or to praise had the Dodgers pulled the win out. I still do not understand why he is supported by the fan base in Los Angeles.

It may be a long layoff before the World Series. I for one will be stocking up on cases of beer. I have found that’s the only way to truly follow what Tim McCarver is trying to say. It makes watching the World Series more understandable.

2009 NLCS Preview

October 14, 2009 by Gabe Zaldivar  
Filed under Baseball, MLB, SRG's Blog

These playoffs have reaffirmed what I thought I already knew about baseball. A lot of times the loss goes to he who screws up first, often, or both. Either a closer will throw a changeup out over the plate, or a shortstop will flub a double play, or Matt Holiday will try to run and catch at the same time. More often than not these mistakes turn into game changing blunders. Looking to the National League match-up on Thursday, I have decided who will screw up least.

Both teams boast solid defenses. Dodger faithful may even have images of gold glove infields of yester year. Likewise, the Phillies have nary a hole to hit to. This would almost be a complete tie on defense if it weren’t for the Manny in left field. I know it’s coming. It hasn’t yet. But it will. There will be a gaffe of such epic proportions as to end the Dodger hopes in one foul swoop. Things have been too easy out there for him. Sure every fly ball looks like it wants to come out of his glove. Sure every gaper is chased at walking speeds. But a big one is coming. Set the DVR to record.

As for rotations I have to give the “most likely to get rocked” award to either Randy Wolf or Brad Lidge. One constant with Wolf is that when he takes the ball, you know the opposition will score three runs. You can take comfort in that it will not be more than that but either way he will leave the game with three runs having been scored. As for Brad Lidge, I mean, come on, even Brad Lidge was holding his breath when Brad Lidge was pitching the ninth inning on Monday. He really only had one pitch he was comfortable with and that was his slider. Lucky for Lidge, Troy Tulowitzki was fond of swinging at pretty much anything that night.

Now what hitters will go completely absent for the next week? Smart money is Pedro Feliz. This guy wasn’t exactly raking the ball against Colorado. He went 3 for 13 but still scares me. He has a Scott Brosius thing about him. He could easily go 1 for 20 in the next series but that one could be the game-winning walk off single.
So which team will screw up least to take this thing? My guess is the defending champs…then again it could be the Dodgers. I’ll let you know after I see how many fastballs Padilla can throw without Chase Utley hitting the pavilion.

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