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Worst | The Sports Report Girl

Top 10 Worst Quarterbacks in College Football

October 6, 2009 by Dion Rabouin  
Filed under College Football, Football, SRG's Blog

While most other writers are sizing up the Heisman race, putting together lists of the best quarterbacks college football has to offer, I’ve decided to go in the opposite direction. This is the list of 10 guys who, if there were a college fantasy football league, would still be left on the waivers in week 10. These are the kind of QBs that get a coach fired and send the boosters heading for the hills.

Because even fighters that suck are given badass nicknames, I’ve decided to give them each a moniker that I think truly reflects their unique set of skills.

10. Danny “Better than Jack Elway” Sullivan (Arizona State) – A mind-boggling 5.8 yards per attempt and 51 percent completion percentage earn Sullivan a spot on the list. He completed all of 10 passes against Georgia in ASU’s biggest game of the season and has managed to even underwhelm ASU fans who pray for 7-5 seasons.

9. Taylor “Someone had to replace Graham Harrell” Potts (Texas Tech) – With Texas Tech’s freewheeling, throw-the-ball-every-play offense, Potts has managed 7.7 yards per completion. His stats actually aren’t that bad, he’s completing more than 67 percent of his passes, but to watch him is to loathe him. The phrase “couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn” has never been more true. He makes Tech fans long for the days of Kliff Kingsbury.

8. Ryan “Bullet” Lindley (San Diego State) – To truly show how hard San Diego State is working to overcome Lindley’s horrific play at quarterback, I present Exhibit A: Last week against New Mexico State, Lindley was 7-for-27 for 123 yards…and the Aztecs won. Want Exhibit B? Week 1 against UCLA he was 18-for-45 with three interceptions. He is that bad.

7. Juice “Totally not a mistake” Williams (Illinois) – Remember two years ago when Juice Williams and Illinois won the Big 10 and everyone was singing the praises of Ron Zook, Williams and the Illinois spread offense? Then they got destroyed by the Trojans in the Rose Bowl and went 5-7 in 2008. Right now Juice is projected to throw for 1557 yards…for the entire year. Oh wait, word just came out that he’s been benched.

6. Mike “The Punisher” Hartline (Kentucky) – He’s been punishing his coaches, his teammates and Kentucky fans all year for believing in him. In five games, he’s barely passed for 600 yards and he has more interceptions (6) than touchdowns (5). I guess UK used up all their recruiting points getting Andre Woodson, because this guy is terrible.

5. Larry “Supernova” Smith (Vanderbilt) – The word phenom comes to mind. Smith has a staggering 87.02 QB rating this year. To give you an idea of how bad this is, Chris Todd of Auburn, who is terrible, has a QB rating of 160. After a recent resurgence, Smith has the Commodores knocking on the door of the SEC basement again. But let’s be honest, Vandy was never meant to be good at sports.

4. Kyle “On the money” Parker (Clemson) – As the signal caller for Clemson, Parker has not only managed a 102.42 quarterback rating – good for eighth worst in all of FBS – but until last week at Maryland, he’d never managed to complete 50 percent of his passes in a single game. Against Middle Tennessee State in week one, he threw for 159 yards, while completing nine-of-20 passes.

3. Cody “Chip off the old block” Hawkins (Colorado) – I really hate to include him in this list because he’s actually a talented football player and he’s got the skills to be a good quarterback. But my God he’s been abysmal this season. He’s literally in the bottom 15 of every important statistical category for quarterbacks there is. He’s 12th from the bottom in INTs, 13th from the bottom in QB rating, 10th from the bottom in yards per pass attempt, 12th from the bottom in completion percentage and that’s out of 114 quarterbacks. He’s got no line, no receivers and no running game to speak of, but even that’s no excuse for losing 54-38 to Toledo.

2. Marshall “Call me Marino” Lobbestael (Washington State) - Statistically the worst quarterback in all of FBS football. Ranks dead last in QB rating, touchdowns, completion percentage, yards per completion and not sucking percentage. He got his spot taken by a freshman last week and had said freshman not been knocked out of the game, he would still be sitting on the bench. Were the number one quarterback on the list not so cringe-inducingly awful, he would certainly take the cake.

1. Jonathan “Big Air” Crompton (Tennessee) – Probably the worst SEC quarterback I’ve seen in years. He’s a worse passer than Kodi Burns of Auburn and Burns is only allowed to run the ball. Tennessee’s head coach Lane Kiffin has done a great job of putting Crompton in position to not screw things up since his 13-for-26, three interception, zero touchdown, 93 yard performance against UCLA. Against Florida, I don’t think Kiffin even called a play with a receiver further than five yards from the line of scrimmage, even though the Volunteers were behind literally the entire game. In that game, Crompton threw the ball 19 times, again for 93 yards. He followed that up with 222 yards passing against perennial FBS juggernaut University of Ohio (yes, you read that right).

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